Post Mortem/Cause of death

OK

I've finally gained some distance from my untimely demise last week on stage. Now I have a chance to get back on the horse and prove to myself that I'm actually good enough to actually do this. I got a lot of flack for being dirty last time and tried to clean up the material a bit.

I have two shows coming up as well as a MC gig on Saturday night, not really my favourite but I need to get back on stage sooner rather that later. I have an MC gig for the Big green VIP party on Friday and finally the HSS cultural show on Saturday.


I've been going through my jokes and I've realised that I'm not the comedian I would like to be. My boy Tyson Ngubeni has the ability to make an audience laugh without swearing or going into blue territory. Something that's actually very difficult to do.

I don't.

My sense of humour is is much darker, my outlook on life much more pessimistic. This actually irritated me a bit. Clean comedians can basically go unto any stage and have a good reception, when you start swearing and you talk about the killings in Norway and Hurricanes and stuff you have to have the right audience who realise the comedic distance between you and the material.

Only a fool would believe I actually believe my material on-stage. Unfortunately a lot of people don't recognise that type of comedic distance. In part that's why my new stuff is much darker and much rawer, I need to prove to people that I'm further removed from my material than i currently am. Perhaps the only way to do that is to stop trying to sit on the fence of decency and political correctness and just fall over unto the other side.

Death

Dying on stage is the scariest experience of my life

The thing is is when you're up there and your throat gets dry and you're trying to confidently work your set while you're seeing how you're losing the audience - its one of the most devastating experiences of your life. You see people starting to heckled, one person shouts "Next!!!".

Its like a kick in the throat.

I was working this comedy show with my good friend Tyson Ngubeni and Carl Joshua Ncube - a really good comedian who just killed his set.

I just wasn't so lucky. Remember what it feels like when you got your heart broken for the first time? Now imagine you had a room full of people who could see it - and what's worse - they don't have much sympathy for you.

I worked my jokes about fat girls (jokes that usually kill). Nothing.

I worked my joke about how no one has discovered a big boned skeleton. Someone shouted yes the have!!! (lol).

I was telling about how my dad walks around the house naked. Someone said "eewww!"

The next day though I spent most of my time fucking up Youtube, seeing other, better comedians bomb. And it kind of made me smile a little. If legends can bomb who am I to feel down and affronted. Maybe the audience just wasn't feeling my vibe, maybe my material just didn't sought their sensibilities.

After a very gay get together with a good comedy friend of my mine, we realised that I'm actually being exactly like the people who didn't laugh at my jokes. I'm taking something that isn't personal and I'm internalising it. The people didn't like my jokes- it doesn't mean that they didn't like me personally. I need to learn how to compartmentalise. You can't bomb on-stage for five minutes and take that five minutes and make you bomb for the rest of the day. Otherwise your bombing 24/7.

StandIing Tall

I do stand up.

For the most part getting up on-stage is the scariest thing you can do. It’s just you and a mic, and an audience ready to laugh. I did it for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and now I’m addicted.

Why? Well, I’ve always thought I’m funny. I know that sounds conceited but believe me, if you’re not a little arrogant you’ll never pick up a mic. Asking to be the only one talking in the room is conceited in and of itself.Also it's an awesome way to pick up women. For the longest time i wasn't the most attractive guy ever, and developing a sense of humour is pretty much a biological imperative.

Another reason I started is because I saw a couple of South African comedians and though- “I’m funnier that that dude” (looking at you Trevor Noah).

I’m still a rookie so I can’t even begin to dispense advice or put my jokes up on here. But I can tell you every week about this comedy stuff. What I’ve been writing, new comedy clips, how my shows have been going.

This might be interesting.

Ps.....

Here are the things I’ll never do on-stage:

Joke about Julius Malema – that shit is overdone and not even that funny

Have props - It’s silly and no one ever finds it funny

Compromise on a joke - If you have to swear to make a joke funny. Do it. There’s no need to make it sound like a Lil’Wayne song though, swearing doesn’t disguise poor jokes.

Steal a joke - Again (here’s looking at you Trevor Noah)

I love jokes, I love it by the pound. That’s why I do it. Stick around though. When n I hit the big time and you guys pirate copy my DVD, you can say you were involved from the ground up.